i don't know why but i feel good right now. there's this feeling that i can't describe. makes me wanna get on my feet and dance. very weird. very very weird.

well, the past two years has cumulated to this. i couldn't have asked for more. really. super grateful and contented. part of me can't be happier it's all over. part of me wants to relive the past two years all over. can't say school was all that bad and unpleasant. i'm surprised at how much i really miss school and how much joy school has actually brought. i believe i can sit down for an hour or two just reminiscing on the past two years. and i can say i'd be smiling, laughing even. somehow school (and i mean my primary and high school days as well) to me was never quite bout studying or getting good grades. was more of having a good time. and i did. that would very justly account for my grades throughout the two years. how i made it in the end is a miracle. maybe it was from the last minute studying/cramping (and i really mean last minute cause to some 'last minute' may mean a month or even two, and mine was certainly far less). you know how the teachers even till the very last day of school tell you how it's not to late to start studying if you havn't started? i'm gonna hafta agree with them on this. they are so true. it's never too late. anyone tells you otherwise, quote my name or refer them to me. heh! anyway, as i was saying, maybe it was the last minute studying. maybe it was from the help i received. maybe it was the help i gave. maybe it was faith. i recalled something someone once thought me and i applied it. i guess it helped. tremendously. i believe it was all of the above but largely faith - a small lil word that carries such heavy significance. i'm not trying to preach faith without studying and expecting good grades cause it doesn't work that way. that's called kissmyass fat hope. but what i've learned and believe is that you are placed where you are for a reason. if you're there then hey, there's a plan for you. there's always a plan for you which you very often aren't able to see. don't doubt. nothing happens by chance. i know there's something big installed for me and i'm very eager to find out what it is. i'll just hafta live out my days and see. i know i won't be disappointed.

for now it's gonna be two years of NS. i've always looked forward to it. me and paul. the two crazy enough to actually look forward to NS. keyword here being look forward. but when i received the letter telling me to report to police academy everything changed. i dreaded enlistment. now i'm reminding myself that there's a plan.

there's so much which i'm so thankful for. so yes...a big thank you to you.