Waking up from a bad dream. Heart still racing from the events that just played out in your head. Breath unsteady as you’re reeling from the emotional trauma. Trying to make sense of what just happened. Sorting out the dream from the reality in a bid to calm yourself down. Only this time, the dream isn’t the worst of it. It’s reality.
You turn to objects or people that would help you feel better. But they don’t seem to work the same anymore. Feeling of abandonment. As hope dangles on a string, depression slowly sets in. You know the worst thing about managing depression isn’t the part about dealing with the dark thoughts and heavy heart, it’s having to conceal them and putting up a front to all those who know not of your inner struggles and probably will never be able to comprehend the reasons for it nor the weight of it.
“Smile!” said the photographer, as they lined up their best smiles for a shot that would’ve been picture perfect if not for the fact that they were hollow inside.
Maybe it was just a dream.
3:50 AM